Category Archives: fertility

pins and needles

First let me start off by saying I have no news to report as of yet, but I am on pins and needles these last few weeks thinking I could get that long awaited call at any moment. I am hardly sleeping due to my excitement and it doesn’t help that I check my cell phone half a dozen times between midnight and six a.m. each night. (Not to mention the fact that it doesn’t leave my side for more than a moment all day long).

It dawned on me the other day that I better start taking a shower each morning and getting dressed in case I have to rush out of the house on a moments notice. (I am usually working in my jammies all day, so it’s a bit of an adjustment for me).

We are as ready as we can be. A few of my friends have come by to visit and teased that there is enough baby gear here for three babies, so I may have overdone it just a bit. The car seat is buckled in, our bags are packed and we are just brimming over with joy and anticipation, proudly awaiting the life that is about to begin.

 

I want to say thank you to all of you who commented on my last post. I was overwhelmed by the sentiments so many of you shared with me, and I feel so honored to have such support and encouragement in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

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like a dream

For those of you who know me personally, or have followed my blog for awhile now, you are probably familiar with our fertility struggle. For the past ten years Josh and I have longed to be parents. We’ve known with absolute certainty that it was something we are just meant to be. We’ve gone through IVF treatments, miscarriages and unimaginable grief, all while maintaining hope that it would someday happen for us. Most recently we were approved through the foster care system in hopes of adopting.

 

Well, about a month and a half ago, we got a phone call. It was a friend of mine who knew of a baby that was about to be placed for adoption. It was an unborn baby due in July, and his parents were actively looking into adoption. Yes, I did say, HIS parents… as the baby is a little boy.

We instantly got our hopes up, and prayed day and night that this connection would be the one. We contacted a lawyer, got some information of how “private” adoption works, and waited.

We were nervous to be hopeful, as we had actually received a few phone calls like this before, that never seemed to pan out, or somehow never made it past the initial call to get our hopes up… but this felt different.

 

About a week later the lawyers called us to let us know that the birth parents wanted to meet us. Again, we were overjoyed, and yet terrified to let ourselves feel how badly we wanted this. I paced the house, changed my clothes four dozen times, and made phone call after phone call to my mom and sisters to somehow set my mind ease before the meeting…

 

We met on a Thursday. I instantly liked them. Both birth mother, and birth father were obviously caring people who wanted to make the best decision they could for their child. They didn’t choose to give up a baby, they choose to pick out a family who could provide for their child the way they couldn’t. They met multiple couples, and read about several families, and selected one they thought best fit their child’s needs, as well as their own.

One agonizing week later, we got the call that they picked us. I cried instantly. I’m crying now just remembering the feeling I had when I got that call. We were (and still are) so undeniably happy, overjoyed, and terrified. I texted my parents, Josh’s parents, my sisters, and my close girlfriends one simple message: “They picked us!!!!”. And instantly my phone started ringing off the hook. One tearful call after another slowly marked the beginning of our dreams coming true. And we were thrilled.

 

I called my social worker to let her know about the private adoption so that we would be taken out of matching for the foster care journey we were already on…We signed papers with the lawyers and started the “official” process… and my uncontrollable urge to buy baby gear and clothes once again started spiraling out of control…

 

Birth mom is now in her 35th week, and we are “expecting” our baby boy in early July.

 

As with all adoptions there is some risk involved. Josh and I are choosing to remain positive and confident. I struggled a great deal about how soon I should tell the world, but as you can imagine, I can hardly contain my excitement. Ten years of waiting, and wishing, and hoping is a long time, and to be this close is nearly unbearable without being able to share the news.

 

I’ll keep you all posted as the upcoming events unfold.

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on my mind

Can you tell what’s on my mind….  I got my crib this week, and I am constantly peeking in the nursery just to sigh and smile…  I am so excited!!! I was able to purchase some vintage fabrics, and my in-laws are sewing me up my own custom crib bedding, so my excitement level is a bit over the top at the moment. I can’t wait to share pictures!

Thank you so much for all the suggestions on my last post. It’s funny how close some of you came to my own actual “vision”. Things are rolling right along. Josh and I got our application turned in, and we are working on the next steps in the coming weeks. (Physicals, Interviews, Home Study, CPR Classes, TB tests, and more)…

I am off to add my finds for the week to the Etsy shop, so I’ll pop back in next time I have an update! Enjoy the weekend!

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