stillness and light

This morning Finn and I woke up and had breakfast together the way we always do. After breakfast I was sitting on the sofa – fiddling with my iPhone – when I came across the post I wrote to Finn on his birthday, here. As I was reading through it, looking at the images that show him growing so quickly and taking in each comment left, I started to swell up with tears. Finn was standing in front of me – watching Nick Jr and swaying to one of the songs they had playing in the background – and suddenly I was inspired to put on the song I wrote about that day and dance with him.

I keep my favorite mixed CD ready and loaded in the player so it took only a few seconds for our song to fill the room. From the moment he heard the first notes, Finn smiled and started to dance. This has become a little ritual for us when I remember to put music on, which only happens once a month or so.

I picked him up and held him close while we swayed to the melody and took the music in. He rested his head on my shoulder and surrendered himself in my arms as if he were about to fall asleep.

We rocked back and forth slowly, turning in circles while I held him tight and cried softly. Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of unfathomable love for this incredible blessing in my life.

When the song ended, I laid Finn down and went to make his bottle. He laid there so peaceful and still and I noticed the light starting to break through the overcast of the clouds outside and filter down on him. He looked beautiful.

I ran to grab my camera… to capture some of the stillness and beauty that happened so unexpectedly this morning. So that I remember this day and how it felt forever.



  1. says

    Such a touching post – found myself tearing up as I read it. And those photos are incredible! Especially love the one of his little feet, the composition is gorgeous.

  2. says

    I little boy so truly blessed by the love of his mum !!! What a truly extraordinarily beautiful world we live in….Every time I here that song now I think of you….xo lovely song gorgeous family :)

  3. Alyssa says

    Now you’ve got me teary too. I wish I had taken more photos of each “moment” and written about them. They go so fast.

  4. Genevieve says

    What a beautiful story of a Mother’s love for her child.
    I could feel him hugging you and it took my bresth away.

  5. says

    I remember boyish charms like they were yesterday… and now mine is 6’4″ and a senior in high school. It goes in a blink of an eye. I know everybody says it, but it does….

  6. says

    Oh what a sweet heartfelt post. Where ever the roads of yesterday took you. I’m sure along the way, the roads seemed easy, rocky and a bit slippery, but all the roads led to this moment right where you were meant to be.
    You tickled my heart two days in a roll. Enjoy the dance my friend!! Looks like the pup was even tired from all the dancing too. :) xo

  7. says

    Finn is really growing. What a special memory to have documented. I wish blogging had been around when my boys were young. It would have been wonderful to be able to have the photos and journal their lives when they were small. I do have photos and video, but not the written words of what was going on at the time. I am sure you will treasure these memories when Finn as Finn grows.

  8. Joanne B. says

    You are blessed. Blessed with this beautiful boy and blessed because you KNOW you are blessed. Thank you for those moments…In the hub-ub that is life, I sometimes forget to be thankful our 20 year old beauty who was our IVF miracle after 11 years of trying…Thanks for letting us in and allowing us to see life through your eyes. Truly, life is so very good…

  9. says

    This is the sweetest post yet! It really is the simpliest things that make the best memories. I have enjoyed watching your Finn grow! (My grandson is 7 months old, so I can judge what he will be doing in the months ahead by watching Finn!)
    You have a very sweet, loving family!